


Diary of a Wolf

by iria



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 19:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1277410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iria/pseuds/iria





	Diary of a Wolf

I think I had a normal childhood, filled with happiness and love, but at a certain age, everything change, and I felt as if I became a burden for people, insecurities have change the joyful little girl I was into a fat teenager that had to numb herself to go on, Hope and love wasn't for me, but for the others...  
Paradoxically,I was a "beacon of hope and love" for the others, I was always here for them,always trying to help, I litterly gave a huge part of myself, but in the end I had nothing left for me, giving/sharing was always easier for me, because I never thought how to act otherwise, If you are good with people you can help them, I believe in influence and good encounters, those encounters that can change your life!

I always changed people, helped them, but in the end, I never had my great encounter, I can share people's dark moments, doubts and fears but I can"t share mine.

 

Until, that day, I met him.  
Love isn't for me, I have always been convince of that.  
But now, He is here and.. I feel strong and weak.. As if I have shown my weaknesses and now I'm just waiting for the blow to hit me full force.I feel naked  
I feel blessed and cursed, I want him to leave and to stay forever...

During all my life I built these walls around me, a strong castle made of bravatto and of " Fake it 'till you make it", sometimes, I get the feeling that my friends see me as a force of nature, as the Mama Bear, but if only they knew, how weak and how much of a coward I am,instead of dealing with my problems, I burry them, and deny their existence,this castle is everything to me, I'm its queen and its prisoner and now, I think I know that HE is destroying it... and I'm letting, because I want him to, I want him to save me from this growing numbness.  
He is like a tornado, a volcano and I'm just an island... a scared and bit strange island... 

And then come the "what if":  
I'm not good enough  
I'm not the person he though I was  
He met another girl... 

Usually I just keep thinking about random things now it's always about him... But he stole my mind, my heart, my body... the only thing I have left is my soul...or a piece of it  
My meeting with him..was so strange..  
I was walking to meet friends at a bar,we all passed our exams and we were ready to "feist"/party, as usual, we spoke about the latest gossip, Camille, announced proudly that we'll have a new speaker ( Irish).  
What you need to understand is when you study English in France, most of the time, we have women and when we finally have a man, he is gay... I'm totally open-minded concerning homosexuality by the way, but we have the same problem with students in our class..  
*20% of guys have a girlfriend  
*10% are single and they are jerks so...  
*70%are gay and I'm NOT kidding!  
So when I heard the news, well I was already prepared to face the "revelation".  
Then I spend most of vacation : Reading, playing video games and... playing video games, and read..ok I'm a geek!

When we had to go back school , as always I was frustrated because, well vacations were too short, and I had the impression that I did nothing ( which was true.. )  
As came in the building 17, I saw Camille speaking with a tall man. Camille is a mix between: An angel and a mob  
She has the tenacity of a bulldog and has the grace of a ballerina, I know that the description is pretty strange but..it's close enough.  
So she was with a guy.. and it was one of the most beutiful/Handsome/sexy guy, I have ever seen. He was tall,well near Camille, and her pixie-like figure, everybody is tall, I have to admit! But, he was elegant and his voice deep and his accent so cute, because he was speaking in french with Camille.  
When, she saw, she waved at me, you need to understand that, I'm not shy, I mean at a certain point I am.. but, usually, I have no problme to speak with people, but at this instant, I felt fat, ugly, stupid... Well, I was acting like a teeneager, I'm 24! So, maybe for a teenager is can be ok, but for a 24year old woman...it's just creepy!  
As I was getting close, I saw more of his features, and gosh, he was..almost the "cliché" of an irish-man... Tall, read-head, green eyes. He was handsome, and his smile was magical.  
Camille instroduced myself "Ava, this is Gideon." Gideon, this Ava."  
I stared at him, and smiled, of course, Camille was a bit surprised, she noticed that I was litterly off! I just spoked when I was spoken to.  
He tried to speak to me. ANd then I had to go.  
Thank you God.


End file.
